{"id":2175,"date":"2018-03-06T14:42:43","date_gmt":"2018-03-06T14:42:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/svmarriagecoun.wpengine.com\/?p=2175"},"modified":"2025-01-31T09:06:13","modified_gmt":"2025-01-31T17:06:13","slug":"kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/","title":{"rendered":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

As parents, we do a lot of silly things because let\u2019s face it, we\u2019re still learning, too! That being said, out of all the things we could possibly do to damage<\/a> our children, fighting in front of them is definitely up there.<\/p>\n

But Parents Fight<\/h2>\n

Though it is perfectly normal for parents to have points of contention between them from time to time, the way these are dealt with is important. Even when conflict seems unmanageable between two partners, taking part in activities like couples counselling can help mitigate damages. This also help prevent extra drama from unfolding in front of the children.<\/p>\n

But we\u2019re Not Fighting with Them<\/h2>\n

Of course you aren\u2019t fighting them. Many parents flaunt the old argument, \u201cI might fight with my partner but I never take it out on the kids\u201d. The fact of the matter is whether you realize it or not, where your kids are concerned, you are doing damage.<\/p>\n

How it Effects the Kids<\/h2>\n

There are numerous way in which fighting with each other in front of your children effects them as proven by research. Here are some of them.<\/p>\n

Makes them Insecure<\/h3>\n

A child\u2019s sense of safety comes partly from stability between the parents and within the home. When your kids see you fighting, that sense of security is threatened. No matter how much you reassure them, actions speak louder.<\/p>\n

If the home environment does not feel safe, neither does the child. Damage is done.<\/p>\n

Make them Feel Responsible<\/h3>\n

Children often feel that they are they cause for their parents fighting. They cannot comprehend or appreciate the deeper dynamics associated with such things and hence chalk it up to it being their fault.<\/p>\n

This creates feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness that carry forward well into adulthood if not addressed.<\/p>\n

Normalizes and Role Models Questionable Behavior<\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s face it, none of us are our best when we\u2019re losing our tempers or in the middle of a fight. We say ugly things and sometimes behave just as badly.<\/p>\n

For a child, you\u2019re basically tearing down their image of acceptable and replacing it with acceptance of the most toxic behaviors. You normalize the worst of yourself.<\/p>\n

Affects their Personalities<\/h2>\n

The kind of stress and trauma that a child experiences when parents fight can only really be appreciated by the child going through it and the adult in therapy. It is so much that it makes them develop unhealthy interactions, coping mechanisms and behaviors just to get by.<\/p>\n

As children, this might look like bad personal hygiene, erratic behavior, a drop in grades or increased aggression.<\/p>\n

As adults, what these look like is dysfunction, problems with rage, mood disorders, depression and addiction to name a few.<\/p>\n

Affects Their Relationships<\/h2>\n

When children see parents fighting time and again, two things happen. One, they have trouble trusting love and affection. Two, they associate intimacy with conflict.<\/p>\n

These subconscious realizations, or changes, result in high levels of dysfunction in future relationships and family life.<\/p>\n

Working through the Trauma<\/h2>\n

Sometimes we do things because we, ourselves have had a hard time growing up. Maybe our parents were not as well informed as we were.<\/p>\n

As adults, we are well informed and highly aware. Further, the tools by which to change and better ourselves are available to us.<\/p>\n

Counselling can help us unravel damages that have been done and ensure that our childhood traumas do not continue to hurt us and those we care about. If you\u2019re looking for a reliable therapist who works with anxiety and conductsrelationship and family counselling sessions in Palo Alto, you have options<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Azizeh E. Rezaiyan<\/a> is a highly qualified and licensed therapist working with both English and Farsi speaking clients with over two decades of experience with individuals and couples alike.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As parents, we do a lot of silly things because let\u2019s face it, we\u2019re still learning, too! That being said, out of all the things we could possibly do to damage our children, fighting in front of them is definitely up there. But Parents Fight Though it is perfectly normal for parents to have points […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2176,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As parents, we do a lot of silly things because let\u2019s face it, we\u2019re still learning, too! That being said, out of all the things we could possibly do to damage our children, fighting in front of them is definitely up there. But Parents Fight Though it is perfectly normal for parents to have points […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"420\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\"},\"wordCount\":650,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\",\"name\":\"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png\",\"width\":628,\"height\":420,\"caption\":\"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\",\"name\":\"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy\",\"description\":\"Making Good Lives Better\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/ARCT-logo-color.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/ARCT-logo-color.png\",\"width\":373,\"height\":63,\"caption\":\"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling","og_description":"As parents, we do a lot of silly things because let\u2019s face it, we\u2019re still learning, too! That being said, out of all the things we could possibly do to damage our children, fighting in front of them is definitely up there. But Parents Fight Though it is perfectly normal for parents to have points […]","og_url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/","og_site_name":"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling","article_published_time":"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00","og_image":[{"width":628,"height":420,"url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children","datePublished":"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00","dateModified":"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/"},"wordCount":650,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","articleSection":["Blog"],"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/","url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/","name":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","datePublished":"2018-03-06T14:42:43+00:00","dateModified":"2025-01-31T17:06:13+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","width":628,"height":420,"caption":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/kids-see-effect-fighting-parents-children\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Kids See it All: The Effect Fighting Parents have on their Children"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#website","url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/","name":"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy","description":"Making Good Lives Better","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#organization","name":"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy","url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en","@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/ARCT-logo-color.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/ARCT-logo-color.png","width":373,"height":63,"caption":"Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/1.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}