{"id":2696,"date":"2019-07-09T10:39:50","date_gmt":"2019-07-09T10:39:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/svmarriagecoun.wpengine.com\/?p=2696"},"modified":"2019-07-09T10:39:50","modified_gmt":"2019-07-09T10:39:50","slug":"managing-extramarital-attraction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/managing-extramarital-attraction\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing Extramarital Attraction"},"content":{"rendered":"

New romances are exhilarating. When both partners click, the initial desire and passion convinces us that this person is for keeps.<\/p>\n

All the feelings and special moments you share in the early stages of a relationship become reference points for the rest of your journey together. At the beginning of every relationship it feels like you have everything you need for it to work out. You stare longingly at your partner, you miss them when they aren\u2019t around and everything about them makes you smile.<\/p>\n

Few people think about what will happen when the spark fizzles out and whether they\u2019ll still be able to make it work. When the relationship loses its newness and becomes mundane, it\u2019s natural for people to begin noticing others and even feel attracted to them.<\/p>\n

Extramarital attraction is common, but if you want to maintain your relationship, it\u2019s important to know how to manage it. People usually trust the commitments made to their partners but without realizing it they expose themselves to situations where they are vulnerable.<\/p>\n

If you want to strengthen your marriage and eliminate the threat of extramarital affairs, use the following tips:<\/p>\n

Know What Attracts You<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n

As a self-aware adult, you\u2019ll know exactly what it makes you tick, you know your needs and the expectations you have from your spouse. When our needs aren\u2019t met, we tend to look elsewhere to have them fulfilled, which makes us vulnerable to other\u2019s advances.<\/p>\n

In healthy marriages, spouses communicate openly without any hesitancy. When their needs aren\u2019t being met, they tell their spouses and work together on solutions. By telling their spouse, they take up responsibility and show awareness that their marriage can be in danger; they\u2019re being proactive.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Put Your Spouse On A Pedestal<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n

It\u2019s nice that you support, compliment and celebrate your spouse; however, it\u2019s just as important to recognize their flaws and shortcomings. No one\u2019s perfect; not even you. Your spouse\u2019s flaws make them human.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t set yourself up for disappointment by putting your spouse on a pedestal; instead, embrace their flaws; it\u2019s just another part of loving them.<\/p>\n

Set Boundaries<\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Recognizing that someone is attractive isn\u2019t a problem\u2014acting upon it is. If you find yourself intentionally looking to gain someone\u2019s attention, you\u2019re in the wrong. You lack discipline and are putting your marriage at risk.<\/p>\n

\"Set<\/p>\n

Setting boundaries prevents you from being in situations where you may be tempted to make a move. For example, if you find yourself attracted to someone at work, don\u2019t have lunch alone with them and keep your conversation to the minimum.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Fan The Flames <\/b><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Attraction is human, there\u2019s no way to stop yourself from feeling it. However, if you feel like it\u2019s becoming too difficult for you to not act on it, be open with your spouse about it. In a strange way this takes away power from the attraction. Instead of keeping the attraction to yourself and fantasizing about the individual, you put your relationship at the forefront and do what is right for your marriage.<\/p>\n

Now that everything is out in the open, you and your spouse can take steps to address the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n

Azizeh Rezaiyan is a marriage counsellor\u00a0at Silicon Valley Marriage Counselling based in Palo Alto\u00a0in the Bay Area. She specializes in couple\u2019s counselling<\/u><\/a>, family meditation<\/u><\/a>, anxiety treatments<\/u><\/a>\u00a0and other psychotherapy treatments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

New romances are exhilarating. When both partners click, the initial desire and passion convinces us that this person is for keeps. All the feelings and special moments you share in the early stages of a relationship become reference points for the rest of your journey together. At the beginning of every relationship it feels like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2698,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nManaging Extramarital Attraction - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"New romances are exhilarating. 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