{"id":4558,"date":"2020-07-11T11:20:03","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T11:20:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/svmarriagecoun.wpengine.com\/?p=4558"},"modified":"2020-07-07T15:22:04","modified_gmt":"2020-07-07T15:22:04","slug":"breaking-the-news-how-to-speak-to-your-children-about-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/breaking-the-news-how-to-speak-to-your-children-about-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking the News: How to Speak to Your Children About Divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>No parent is happy at the prospect of having to tell their kids that their marriage is ending. Unfortunately, around <a href=\"#:~:text=They%20are%20also%20good%20for,subsequent%20marriages%20is%20even%20higher.\"><u>40\u201350% of couples in the US<\/u><\/a>\u00a0have to do just that.<\/p>\n<p>Although there\u2019s no easy way to announce a divorce to your kids, you can do it in a way that prevents angry outbursts and helps them see your side of things.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some tips on speaking to your kids about divorce:<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>1.\u00a0Plan It<\/h2>\n<p>When it comes to announcing your divorce to your kids, winging it isn\u2019t an option. To make sure you\u2019re saying all the right things without <a href=\"#:~:text=Emotionally%20Sensitive,may%20come%20from%20this%20transition.&amp;text=%E2%80%93%20children%20may%20feel%20effects%20of,how%20they%20process%20their%20emotions.\"><u>overlooking your kids\u2019 emotions<\/u><\/a>, plan what you\u2019re going to say.<\/p>\n<p>Not only should you plan what you\u2019re going to say, but you should also ensure that they have ample family time to process the situation. Don\u2019t do it when you\u2019re on vacation, don\u2019t do it before bedtime, or when it\u2019s exam season.<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-4560 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Tell-Them-All-Together.png\" alt=\"Tell Them All Together\" width=\"393\" height=\"262\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Tell-Them-All-Together.png 1000w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Tell-Them-All-Together-300x200.png 300w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Tell-Them-All-Together-768x512.png 768w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Tell-Them-All-Together-750x500.png 750w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 393px) 100vw, 393px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>2.\u00a0Tell Them All Together<\/h2>\n<p>Parents who have more than one child should break the news to their children together. Divorce is a big deal, and your kids should hear about it from <em><i>you<\/i><\/em>\u2014not your other angry teenager!<\/p>\n<p>Gather your kids and tell them what\u2019s happening. Be clear about why this decision benefits everyone and provide them with the necessary information that will give them an idea of what\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n<h2>3.\u00a0Avoid Assigning Blame<\/h2>\n<p>As tempting as it may be to assign blame, there\u2019s no need to do it. Blaming your spouse in front of your kids only infuses toxicity into an already stressful situation.<\/p>\n<p>When you blame your spouse for breaking up your family, you push your kids to take sides\u2014something they aren\u2019t capable of doing rationally.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of assigning blame, use the word \u201cwe\u201d to show them that you came to this decision together. Make it clear that you tried to work through the differences, but have decided that parting ways is best for everyone.<\/p>\n<h2>4.\u00a0Let Them Know How Their Lives Will Change<\/h2>\n<p>As heartbreaking as divorce is for the kids, their main concern is how their lives will be impacted.<\/p>\n<p>Tell your kids where they\u2019re going to live, with who, when they\u2019ll meet each of you, etc. It helps to be honest and open about what you know, and what you need to figure out.<\/p>\n<p>Let them know that their life in school, their friends, their extra-curricular activities, etc. will not change. Kids need to feel a sense of normalcy during this emotionally taxing time<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re struggling with telling them, consider getting help from a mediator or a family counselor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Azizeh offers <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/family-mediation\/\"><u>family mediation services<\/u><\/a>\u00a0for separating families in Palo Alto. She can help you and your spouse break the news to your kids so they can understand your decision.<\/p>\n<p>Contact her office for more information.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No parent is happy at the prospect of having to tell their kids that their marriage is ending. Unfortunately, around 40\u201350% of couples in the US\u00a0have to do just that. Although there\u2019s no easy way to announce a divorce to your kids, you can do it in a way that prevents angry outbursts and helps [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":4559,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Breaking the News: How to Speak to Your Children About Divorce? - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"No parent is happy at the prospect of having to tell their kids that their marriage is ending. Unfortunately, around 40\u201350% of couples in the US have to do just that.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/breaking-the-news-how-to-speak-to-your-children-about-divorce\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Breaking the News: How to Speak to Your Children About Divorce? - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No parent is happy at the prospect of having to tell their kids that their marriage is ending. 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