{"id":6991,"date":"2021-06-15T10:20:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-15T18:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/svmarriagecoun.wpengine.com\/?p=6991"},"modified":"2021-06-25T08:22:59","modified_gmt":"2021-06-25T16:22:59","slug":"understanding-attachment-styles-and-how-they-affect-your-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/understanding-attachment-styles-and-how-they-affect-your-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Relationship counseling in Palo Alto often involves helping people understand their attachment style so that they can develop more meaningful relationships. While many people are aware of the different attachment styles, it can take some time for them to accept that their own style might be different from what they\u2019d imagined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve been noticing a pattern and similar themes reoccurring in all your relationships, couples counseling may have the answers you need. As a starting point, here\u2019s what you should know about attachment styles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Understanding the Attachment Theory<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the theory, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.parentingscience.com\/strange-situation.html\">the relationship between a child<\/a> and their parents or caregivers during the first few years of life\u2014particularly infancy and early childhood\u2014create certain expectations in the child\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These expectations, whether positive or negative, determine how the child will relate to other people and behave in all their relationships as an adult. In other words, they shape a person\u2019s attachment style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Attachment theory isn\u2019t limited to romantic relationships, as it also includes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/what-is-a-platonic-relationship-5185281\">Platonic relationships<\/a><br><br><\/li><li>Friendships<br><br><\/li><li>Emotional relationships without a physical component<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What are Attachment Styles?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two basic attachment styles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Secure attachment<br><br><\/li><li>Insecure attachment<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Secure Attachment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Adults with a secure attachment style have a positive self-image and a positive opinion about others. As children, it\u2019s likely that their needs were readily met, and their parents\/caregiver were available to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In relationships, they practice open communication and flexibility. They\u2019re able to convey their own needs as necessary, along with their partner\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Insecure Attachment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Insecure attachment can be one of three types:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Anxious-Preoccupied<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>An anxious-preoccupied adult will need a lot of reassurance, validation, and responsiveness from the person they\u2019re attached to. This is often due to their parents or primary caregivers being distant or ignoring their needs as a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They tend to worry a lot about their relationships and take responsibility for the other person\u2019s behavior. Their connection to another person will often include dependence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Avoidant-Dismissive<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoidant-dismissive adults have strong self-esteem, but they subconsciously look down on others. They seem to want unusual amounts of independence and might even try to avoid attachments in any form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They\u2019re not comfortable with intimacy and tend to be self-reliant to a fault. Any conflict or perceived rejection leads to them pushing away the relationship or attachment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Avoidant-Fearful<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Children who <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nctsn.org\/what-is-child-trauma\/trauma-types\">go through traumatic experiences<\/a> or face a difficult childhood tend to become avoidant-fearful adults. They\u2019re uncomfortable with emotional intimacy, tend to have low self-esteem, and mistrust the people in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Similar to avoidant-dismissive adults, avoidant-fearful people will often try to avoid deep attachments and suppress their own emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You should think of these styles not as faults in your personality, but as an extension of your preferences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No matter your attachment style, understanding it better is the first step to developing deep and meaningful relationships with other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"Couples therapy in Palo Alto\" class=\"wp-image-6994\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy-750x500.jpg 750w, https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/couples-therapy.jpg 1124w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/man-and-woman-in-brown-leather-coat-standing-on-brown-soil-984946\/\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/about-us\/\">Silicon Valley Marriage Counseling<\/a>, our experienced <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/about-azizeh\/\">marriage counselor in Palo Alto<\/a> is here to help you with <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/couples-counseling\/\">relationship counseling<\/a>, same sex couples counseling, <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/premarital-counseling-in-palo-alto\/\">marriage guidance counseling<\/a>, therapy for infidelity, and <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/sexuality-for-couples\/\">sex therapy in Palo Alto<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Book your consultation by calling us at <a href=\"tel:\/\/6502069973\/\">(650) 206-9973<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/\/palo-alto-ca\/\">leaving us a message<\/a> today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019ve been noticing a pattern and similar themes reoccurring in all your relationships, couples counseling may have the answers you need. As a starting point, here\u2019s what you should know about attachment styles:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":6993,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-couples-counseling"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Understanding Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships - Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn more about attachment styles with this comprehensive guide from a Farsi speaking therapist in Palo Alto.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cms-staginglink3.com\/aziza-client-site\/understanding-attachment-styles-and-how-they-affect-your-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Understanding Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships - 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